How to deal with parental alienation

All lawyers want to do the best they can for their clients. Their aim is to put the client in a better position than they would have been in had the lawyer not acted on their behalf. Most of the time, this dedication must be backed up with knowledge, skills and experience. However, while these attributes are essential, they are not always enough, especially when dealing with deep-seated and often irrational human emotions.

Such is the case when confronted with cases of parental alienation.

What is parental alienation?

‘They have poisoned my children against me’, is a melancholy claim that has been heard often by family law solicitors. Parental alienation is formally defined by CAFCASS as “When a child’s resistance / hostility towards one parent is not justified and is the result of psychological manipulation by the other parent." This manipulation need not be malicious or even deliberate. It is the course of action or process that matters.

Typically emerging during or following divorce proceedings, examples of this kind of psychological manipulation are one parent portraying or describing the other parent in negative terms. For example, suggesting to the child that the other parent does not love them or one parent making unfounded allegations against the other parent.

Whatever form it takes, the longer this kind of manipulation continues, the more damage it causes, not just to the wronged parent but also to the children. Manipulated children often manifest negative consequences such as low self-esteem, self-hatred, depression, anxiety, lack of trust in others and substance abuse. Parental alienation help is available.

Getting help at an early stage

Unfortunately, and at present, there are no specific laws in the UK that address the issues of parental alienation against either parent. However, any parent, or even grandparent, who has been affected by parental alienation can make an application to the court under Section 7 of the Children Act 1989. However, prior to making any decision, the court will require a fact-finding assessment to be carried out. This can be conducted by a guardian on behalf of the child or children, a CAFCASS officer or even an independent social worker.

There is no hard-and-fast rule about which professionals should be involved in this process, nor how many. However, it is crucial that the professionals involved have experience in dealing with alienation situations. If there are a few different professionals, then it is also essential that they always communicate with each other and work collaboratively throughout the fact-finding process. It may also be necessary, or at least highly advisable, for the parents and the children to undergo some degree of psychotherapeutic treatment.

Without this assessment, the court has no factual or informational basis upon which to make a decision.

The child or children can be consulted, and their opinions, assuming the child is old enough to render an opinion, taken into account. The child can even be joined in with the proceedings. However, it is often the case that the views of the child will simply reflect those of the alienating parent. Consequently, the court is likely to seek to rely substantially upon the opinions of the expert factfinders as they will be able to interpret the responses of the child and provide a better understanding as to their context.

What orders can the court make?

The court has a lot of flexibility, but the court is also under a duty to positively promote contact between separated or divorced parents. The court must consider all the evidence, but it is important to note that this is not an adversarial process, and the court is not deciding on culpability or who is guilty or innocent. At all times, the welfare and interests of the child are paramount.

In the first instance, the court will try to reason or mediate between the parents but, if the path proves fruitless, then the court can make orders such as changing the child’s living arrangements or ordering greater contact between the alienated parent and the child.

However, even when carefully considered orders have been made in the past, the results were far from positive. In one example of parental alienation case law, in 2019,the court made an order that the children should live with their father for a few weeks and not see their mother at all during this period. The results were awful. The children were extremely distressed, ran away from the father repeatedly and refused to eat. They returned to their mother after less than a month had passed. The court accepted that the transfer of the children was based on a gross underestimate of the children’s reactions.

As is often the case, the law has some catching up to do in this area. But there is simply no easy answer or ready solution to these very difficult and often distressing situations.

Matters such as parental alienation are fraught with difficulty and, potentially highly damaging traumas and sentiments. In short, it’s a minefield and no alienated parent should endeavour to navigate these very choppy waters without sound legal advice. While it is crucial to consult lawyers who have the necessary expertise and knowledge in children and family matters, it is equally important to choose a solicitor who possesses the patience, understanding and sympathy that such matters require.

For further information and trusted legal advice regarding matters of parental alienation, get in touch with our Resolution-accredited family lawyers in London at Carlsons Solicitors

FamilyNathan Wilkins